Monday, October 18, 2021

"Soul Seekers"


Soul Seekers
Tracy Duran

She was sitting in a dark room with a few candles lit so that she could imagine. Not sure why he never showed up and she couldn’t understand why he went away for so long. Then the sing-songy whistle comes about in the air again.  Then she hears the singing that always follows. It's always the same song when she thinks of him.

♫I follow the Moskva

Down to Gorky Park

Listening to the wind of change...♫

The drone of the notes helps her meditate to where she sees his face. Just his face in the candlelight. She listens for the song again. The song faded away. It feels like it has been 10 maybe 15 minutes, then she hears it again very softly.

♫The future's in the air

Can feel it everywhere

I'm blowing with the wind of change...♫

She can now see him, sitting on the floor just several feet in front of her with the candles around him. He has his eyes closed tightly and he is calling for her.

“Lizzie, can you hear me?” he says in a hushed, nervous tone.

She tries to speak but she feels choked up. She can’t believe that she is hearing his voice. The music fades along with his image.

It feels like an hour has passed. She's concentrating so intently to have him come back. She thinks of him constantly to try to get her into his mind. Suddenly the whistling starts again. She feels very cold yet electric at the same time. She feels like she has more energy to talk. She's not as nervous as she was before.

“Tom. Can you hear me? Can you see me?” she says with all her might.

♫Walking down the street

Distant memories

Are buried in the past forever...♫ 

The music becomes a bit louder. She hears him exclaim with a startled voice, “Lizzie! I think I can hear you!”

This makes Lizzie feel warmer knowing that he can hear her. She tries to touch his face but she knows that he won’t be able to feel her touch. "This is all just in my mind. My own manifestation. It's a dream is all it is." she thinks to herself.  

Suddenly Tom gets a sudden chill and touches his cheek. “I think I felt you, is that you Lizzie? Please tell me if it’s you.”

The music fades again.

Twenty minutes, 30 minutes. The slight bit of music plays in the air again.

♫Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

In the wind of change...♫

“Lizzie, please say something. I miss you so much.” He he says softly as his lower lip trembles, he tries his best to keep the sadness deep inside.

“Tom, I’m here. I don’t know where you are.” She says with so much emotion.

"I've been here. I don't know why you left me here. It's been too long since you've been gone." he says while slowly bowing his head down, tears falling from his closed eyes.

"Tom, you left me alone. I needed you, it was a night I needed you the most.... and.... " she trails off back into the sadness of that night.

"I felt that you abandoned me..."

The room fades into darkness again and the music fades away.... silence. That dreadful silence again. The type of silence that hurts your ears and your mind. It's too quiet.

The room slowly lights up again, dimly lit by the candles. The room fills with a familiar scent. It's his scent. Not cologne or aftershave... just that familiar smell of his clothes fill the room. The music fades in again...

♫The wind of change blows straight

into the face of time

Like a storm wind that will ring

The freedom bell for peace of mind...♫

Tom's voice comes in faintly, "Lizzie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I thought things were different. I wanted to be there but you told me not to come. I thought we were done."

Lizzie sits there, with tears streaming down her face. She remembers that night. She wanted him there for her but neither one were clear on their intentions. She wants to say something back but holds back, choking on her emotions.

Tom continues with a strained voice, "Lizzie, I wanted to be there for you, to tell you I wanted you to be my one and only. You were acting strange and I thought you didn't want to be a part of this, a part of us anymore."

The song fades out yet a new song slowly comes along, same band,  Lizzie notices, just a different tone.


It needs time

To win back your love again

I will be there

I will be there...♫

Lizzie tries her best to get her words out thoughtfully. "Tom... I needed you that night. I needed you to fight for me. I needed you to help me fight these damn demons of mine. I couldn't fight them on my own anymore. I even left the door unlocked for you to come in to help me. I fought as hard as I could... I ... just couldn't ... I lost, Tom. I lost the fight. I still need you. I'm still in the darkness. I can't deal with the darkness."


Babe, I'll fight

To win back your love again

I will be there

I will be there...♫

Tom stares into the darkness. His eyes welling up, he knows what he needs to do. He knows it'll hurt others but he needs to be with his one true love. He needs to help her fight the demons. He didn't believe in the demons before. He thought they were all just emotions. Yet now he knows that these emotional demons can get the best of the best. Lizzie was the best of all and they still took her away.

The song fades out....

If we'd go again

All the way from the start

I would try to change

Things that killed our love....♫

Lizzie sits in silence once again. No music. No warmth. Only cold and darkness. The candles are so dim, it's hard to tell if the flames are even lit anymore. It feels like forever but what does "forever" mean when you've already sat in the darkness all this time?

The music fades in... but it sounds different this time... as if it is coming from behind her.

♫Yes, I've hurt your pride and I know

What you've been through

You should give me a chance

This can't be the end...♫

Lizzie sits in disbelief. She is too afraid to turn around to see what is behind her. She feels a familiar touch, a hand on her shoulder and hears his voice : "I'm here to save you, Lizzie. I should have saved you before but I was too stupid to realize what you were going through. I'm here for you now Lizzie.

 "Let's go."

Lizzie turns around... it's Tom.... but how? There is only one way to enter the darkness. You have to let go of the mortal coil, let go of everyone around you, all that is familiar and into the unknown.

Tom looks at her lovingly and says, "It was the only way. There is nothing without you. The next day, I came to your place in the tower downtown. I saw the door was slightly open and I came in. It was eerily quiet. I called for you but you didn't answer... then I found you there, just... gone... I was ripped to shreds. I couldn't forgive myself for not being there for you. I've contemplated things for a long time. I had to do this to help you, the way I should have helped you so long ago." He reaches his hand out to her to help her up, "Let's go and fight these demons together. Hopefully, we can help others, if they listen."

♫I'm still loving you

I need your love

I'm still loving you

I need your love

I need your.....♫

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